So I first heard about this song on Triple J. It was a talking point on the Doctor's show. And then I just learned that Simon Cowell likes her by which I assume he means he can see lots and lots of money because she is infamous.
So then I decided to watch the damn video. I did learn one thing, apparently Youtube updates likes and dislikes in real time since while I've been waiting for the video to load the number of dislikes went from 399,500 to 400,080 when I just looked at it then and it's still climbing. The number of likes is climbing very very slowly.
So what do I think of a 13 year old girls music video?
Well I'm more or less going to kind of liveblog this. The time stamps are where I pause the video.
0:45 One of the things I knew about this song was that Black didn't have anything to do with writing it, I also know that she's more or less been crucified for this song. Right now I think that Clarence Jey and Patrice Wilson should face charges of some sort for the lyrics. I get the feeling that this song is probably a violation of the Geneva conventions or something.
1:08. All the people in that car look like they are about her age. So how the hell did the boy get a license to drive this car? I'm probably over analysing this to keep my sanity.
Well it looks like the flash plugin broke while writing the above. I guess I now have to wait for it to load again. Current dislikes: 401,325
So while I wait I found an acoustic version that she sung on ABC News. Well, I'm going to go on record and say that I "liked" this acoustic version. By "liked" I mean I pressed the thumbs up button on the video. Perhaps my brain has melted from the minute of the other version but this version is at least 100 times better.
Having said that I would say that Black shows some promise as a singer.
1:16. Why are they driving around at night? Where are they going? Where can they go, and if they were going somewhere shouldn't they be there already? And isn't it dangerous to sit like that in a moving vehicle?
1:38 Why are you still deciding which seat to take? You're clearly in the back seat. It's where you've been since the first chorus. Didn't the ARK Music Factory director look at the words before filming this?
1:43 Why does California have so many under age drivers? What are the Police doing to stop this plague of under age drivers? And how the hell are they getting insurance for these cars?
2:26 Lyrics written by Cpt. Obvious. And I'm also a little confused. Should I be thankful that I don't have epilepsy or should I be cursing the fact that I don't because it would make this song end sooner.
2:36 What's with the black guy? And I had a mondegreen moment there. I though he was continuing a theme by pointing out that he was black. So I listened to that bit again. I then thought that he was saying that he was Rebecca Black. Turns out it was "R. B. Rebecca Black". In a way I wish that I didn't learn that, it would have made the song so much more enjoyable.
2:51 "We gonna have fun". That sounds creepy. Maybe he's one of those chaperone guys who's just a little too enthusiastic.
3:48 The song is over. Finally.
So what have I learned. Well that Ark Music Factory must have a pile of cheap songs that were written for entrants in the Eurovision, or the children's Eurovision. And continuing on the Eurovision theme that Black is like Sweden in 2009, she has talent but it doesn't fit with the song. Then again with those lyrics I can't think of a single artist that could turn them into anything remotely adequate.
And having said that I appear to be wrong. See when I wrote that it was about 1am yesterday. In that time I've found a pretty good fake Bob Dylan cover of this song.
Having had that time to think more about the song has let me draw the following conclusion. This song is hilarious. I personally think that it's something that is So Bad It's Good. Although of course Your Mileage May Vary.
I don't really agree with the whole "worst song in existence". There are plenty of worse songs out there. For example if I was forced between this song and anything by Justin Bieber then I'm going with "Friday".
So in conclusion:
- ARK Music Factory really needs to invest in better songwriters.
- Rebecca Black needs to find her own singing style instead of being forced into one that doesn't suit her.
- It's hilarious because it's so bad.